And He Wept...

Ever since this tragedy took place in our lives, I have had so many inexpressible feelings flood through my mind and heart. The feeling of "wanting" to understand, but feeling as this loved-one was somehow robbed from underneath us. I have struggled with the question "why?" and the feelings of unbelief. Even after receiving the news of her death, watching and helping her sisters and mom prepare her body for the ceremony, reading​ her obituary, standing​ by her graveside, the feelings of disbelief, great sorrow and even anger still remain.

I know I am supposed to rejoice that Jessica is with Jesus, and I do, but acceptance of that fact has been more than difficult for us all. I felt as if God didn't understand our grief-I felt that God was selfish and cold, and I prayed through the night last night, and through the nights to precede this night... I prayed in the spirit, and I asked God to help me see His heart and plan in this. I pleaded with God... I cried out in anger to God!